What happens when you can't remember the happiest day of your life? What is that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you realize your memories are just fragments molded together into a mess of confusion?

When I think about memories, I think about fuzziness. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 17, and a part of my diagnoses is my tendency to dissociate from situations; this is especially true with memories.

When I look back on things, I tend to remember bits and pieces that I have slowly patch worked together; however, if I don't write them down, they don't stick around for as long as I'd like them to. This flicker film is about my personal experience with dissociation and how my memories deteriorate over time.

 

 

The creative brief for this film was pretty straight forward. We were tasked with finding a word to center our film around. After we found the word, our parameters were to use techniques we learned in class to create the film.

 

For this film I datamoshed different footage one to six times to get an effect of complete distortion and found a drone sound that helped foster a stasis experience that I wanted to set for this film. The selection of footage is from things I hope I never forget: my first time at F5, Fuerza Bruta, and seeing my favorite band perform live, and laying in the grass next to my best friend among other things. It's things that I will hold close to my heart for as long as I can remember.

 

To view my process book, please visit my website, www.meghannkennedy.com