What kind of wedding do you want?


Once the question has been popped, and there is a mutual “yes! Let’s get married!” between you two, you need to start thinking about what kind of wedding you would like to have. 


Weddings are big jobs, so you have to prepare for it in advance if you want every thing to go smoothly. You may have dreamt of your wedding ceremony for a long time and you may imagined the wedding setting several times. You definitely want your wedding can be unique and interesting, so the preparation of the wedding plays an important role in the success of the wedding.


The first thing you need to do is recruit help. Traditionally is the job of the maid of honour to help the bride plan the wedding. However, it is easier if you also have someone who has been married before and knows what she’s doing. Also try to recruit help from your family members and get inspiration and ideas from wedding books and magazines.


After you’ve reeled in all the help you need, it’s time to decided whether a formal, informal, double wedding, beach, garden or an at-home wedding is for you.


A formal wedding is the more traditional and expensive type wedding you can have. The ceremony is held in a church, synagogue, temple, large club or hotel, during the evening. Generally there are 200+ guests, 4 to 12 groomsmen and bridesmaids, two flower girls, on ring bearer and one trainbearer, depending on the brides types of dress.


This ceremony is richly decorated with elaborate floral decorations and very formal elegant gowns. These types of weddings also include limousines, two types of engraved stationary (one for the ceremony and one for the reception), formal portraits, a professional bridal consultant and a large reception dinner with a life band for dancing.


An informal wedding is very lenient. It is a day-time ceremony that can be held anywhere. The guest list consists only fifty or fewer guests and is usually made up of family and only close friends. Invitations to an informal wedding are usually handwritten or telephoned for both the ceremony and reception. Decorations floral or otherwise are optional and often sparse. Often the guests and wedding party bring dishes for reception dinner.
One wedding style that is not very common, but can be a lot of fun is the double ceremony. This is when sisters or best friends decide to share a wedding. Not only is it a way to bond on this memorable day, but also it’s cost saving as well. This type of wedding is usually formal, with a separate set of attendants per couple. You can match each couple or compliment their best features and make them as different as possible. The brides and grooms also can act as the other couple attendants. As far as who would go first, it’s really up to you, but ordinarily the older of the two brides takes precedence. When it is sisters, the older sister is escorted down the isle by her father while the younger sister is escorted by a brother or other male relative.


If you’ve always loved the idea of a wedding with the sun shining, birds chirping and the smell of flowers then, you could think about a outdoor or garden wedding. They range from very formal to informal and are all about your “personal touches.” You can choose from a park, a beach, a flower garden or even a huge lawn. 
Something that some brides don’t think about is rain. Always make sure that you have a back up in form of a tent or reception hall just in case the weather is not your best friend. Most outdoor weddings do not have a reception; the bride and groom simply embrace the guests after the ceremony.


The final type of wedding is the in-home wedding. This is a personal form of ceremony that your parents or close friend may offer to host for you. There are many choices for where and how your wedding can go, however try to pick an attractive and spacious spot. Some brides like to meet their fathers at the bottom of a flight of stairs, or you can just meet up with the groom in front of the pastor without a precession. Remember to keep space in mind when choosing how many attendants, music, receiving line and the formality of the ceremony. Also play off the house’s architecture. If you decorate too formal or not formal enough depending on the house, it can turn out tacky. 


There are a lot of things to keep in mind when you are choosing your wedding style: budget, religion, time, personal preferences and many more. It’s okay to dream a little. Remember though, no matter how small, large, fancy, or casual you choose to be, have fun. It’s your day, make it that way. Don’t let the stress of planning your dream day drag you down. (MF)

What are you Afraid of?

by Mialisa Fenty


Scientists believe that every one in the world has a phobia. However big or small that phobia might be.
Whether its spiders, frogs, snakes or heights, each and every one of us is afraid of some thing. So what are you afraid of?

“Lizards,” says Sasha Cave. While Jamal Prescod says “mice and rats. They just crawl my skin!”
Some of us share these common phobias and we would deem them as a normal fear, such as fear of injections (trypanophobia) or germs (mysophobia). But while we all have common fears there are a few out-of-the-box phobias that most of us have. Just think about it. What really weird or strange things have you itchy all over?
“Cracks in the road really freaks me out,” says 25-year-old Sherry-ann Powell, “ . . . and tea bags, used tea bags. I can’t even look at them,” she said.

If you think that is a little odd, take Mark Powell for instance, he’s afraid of birds (ornithophobia).
“All birds. I’m always afraid that they would attack me so I don’t go near them,” he said.
New fears, or phobias, are created every day to explain why you feel uneasy about blood (hemophobia) or the colour black (melanophobia).

Afiya Francis says she’s afraid of numbers. “Maths in particular. I freeze up. It makes me very uneasy. I can’t do it infront of anyone . . . it’s so strange”.

There are many people in the world that suffer from polyphobia, which simply means to have more than one fear. Shari Cadogan says ants nests, mannequins and midgets are her biggest fears. While Dorian Brian says messes, being cold and being paralyzed really makes him uneasy.

Not so common, people may suffer from antinomial phobias. For example, there ares ome people that live with vestiophobia (fear of clothes) and gymnophobia (fear of nudity). Another example is people withachluophobia (fear of darkness) and photophobia (fear of light).

An estimated 13 per cent of the adult population will develop a phobia at some point in their life, according to one study. But why do people develop phobias?

It is all related to anxiety, which is a normal response to stress or danger and often called the “flight or fight” response. It involves adrenalin being quickly pumped through the body enabling it to cope with whatever comes its way.

Problems start when this response is out of proportion to the actual danger or is generated when there is no danger present. That is when it can become an anxiety disorder, of which phobias are a category.
The severity of a phobia varies from person to person. Some people usually look to overcome their fears by facing them head on because it might be a hinderance in their lives.
Although symptoms of each type will vary, there are some common things to look for. These include:
Terror: A persistent and overwhelming fear of the object or situation. 
Physical Symptoms: Dizziness, shaking, palpitations. 
Obsessive Thoughts: Difficulty thinking about anything other than the fear. 
Desire to Flee: An intense instinct to leave the situation. 
Anticipatory Anxiety: Persistent worrying about upcoming events that involve the phobic object or situation.
There are stranger phobias in this world that really exist. They are so many that they are placed into categories of their own.

There are social phobias. These anxiety disorders are triggered by certain types of people, relationships, and social situations. Venustraphobia is one such phobia this group and it refers to the fear of beautiful women, and may be caused by low self-confidence or putting too much pressure on appearances.
Many people are afraid of snakes, rats or bats, but these Zoophobias represent the fear of more random animals. Ornithophobia (fear of birds) is one such fear in this category or Equinophobia (fear of horses).
There are also phobias of things in the natural environment like ancraophbia which is the fear or wind and choinophobia for those who are afraid of snow.
People who have trouble dealing with certain aspects of their own character or appearance suffer from personal phobias. Those who are too afraid to look at their own reflection in a mirror have spectrophobia.
From red lights to knees, here are some weird phobias involving physical objects and body parts. 
If you’re afraid of mismatched socks or asymmetrical objects, you have asymmetriphobia.
There are actually fears against ideas and concepts such as chronophobia (fear of time) and cainophobia (fear of anything new).

Activities such as sitting, standing and walking are sore spots for people who suffer from cathisophobia (fear of sitting) and basiphobia (fear of walking or standing).
It might be hard to believe but these phobias exist. Think you might have one of these mentioned phobias? Careful, because having a phobia about having a phobia means you have a phobia called phobophobia.

What is your design style?
by Mialisa Fenty

When you’re thinking of decorating a single room or a whole house, you’ll find that determining your decorating style can be helpful.

There are over 50 unique design styles that people can identify when decorating a house, but not every style will suit you.

When deciding a specific decorating style, make sure that you take cost, availability of materials and time, into planning.

Also do some research into the styles. This article will help you to get an idea of origin of the different styles but you still have to do further research into what suits you aesthetically.

Remember the design comes out in the paint colours you use, the furniture, rugs, lamps, window treatments, paintings and ornaments. Even plants add to design styles so choose and plan carefully.

Alphabetically, the first popular design style you come across is Art Deco. It is a streamlined, geometric style of home furnishings which became popular in the US during in the early 20th Century. It really took off after World War I, popularised by films like 42nd Street and Grand Hotel. Art Deco blends fashion, architecture, fabric and jewelry design, furniture, and interior design with sleek, smooth lines.

Many people look to simplify their lives and one way to do this is to simplify their surroundings . . . like the Asians! As the name suggests, this type of design style typically refers to Japanese and Chinese influences.
For centuries, Asian cultures have lived their lives surrounded by simple, yet elegant, furnishings, furniture, and art.

Asian interiors are designed to bring peace, balance, and serenity to the space, which is kept simple and uncluttered.

In traditional Japanese interiors, raw materials such as bamboo and colours taken from nature are used to create a serene, calm environment. While Chinese interiors are identifiable by highly stylized furnishings featuring hand-painted designs on lacquered finishes, brightly coloured accessories and ornaments or statues of animals or mythical creatures. Red is predominantly used as it is a symbol of good luck.

Contemporary is a design style that is often used, especially here in the Caribbean. It uses straight lines, sculptural elements, art, and bold colours. This style encompasses a range of styles developed in the latter half of the 20th century. Pieces used in the space feature softened and rounded lines as opposed to the stark lines seen in modern design.

If you don’t care about design styles; like to purchase furniture “once it looks good” or have a collection of furniture given to you by family and friends? Then the eclectic style might be for you. Yes! This is an actual style. The formal definition is: A style that encompasses a variety of periods and styles and is brought together through the use of colour, texture, shape and finish.

An eclectic look is partly defined by the multitude of fabrics, whether they be patterned, textured or both. Choose a colour scheme and stick with a neutral as your grounding force, and add to it with coloured and textured solids and patterns and trims, tassels or fringe.

The mediterranean style originated in countries north of the Mediterranean Sea, including Spain, Greece and Italy, and is often referred to today as “Spanish modern.” Mediterranean-style furniture ranges from simply functional to extremely formal. Pieces are short, with ornately turned legs and feet; hardware is heavy and walls are predominantly textured.

Modern is a word people throw around when speaking about home decor. It is the strictest design style you will ever come across. It is a clean, streamlined furniture and architecture style from the 1930s with roots in the German Bauhaus School of Design and Scandinavian modern design. It’s characterised by polished surfaces, strong geometric shapes and asymmetry.

When you are talking about colours, you really don’t have many options: White, black, cream or grey. But everything must be smooth and sleek. This might also be the most expensive style as you are trying to go for a sleek, smooth and polished look. Concrete, granite and linoleum are used for flooring; chrome and stainless steel are common accents on furniture and in the kitchen.

Traditional style means decorating is the classic and comfortable look. It is pretty popular in Caribbean homes as well. There is nothing wild or chaotic about this style of decorating, in fact, it is very typical.

Furnishings are classic and might feel outdated. Furniture and accessories are placed in pairs and centered in the room. There is nothing out of place or of a different style. Everything has the look that it goes together. And we in the Caribbean love to match so this style is very high on the list.

Last, but not least, is the Tropical/Caribbean style that many homes in the US try to adopt. We have no problem pulling this style off as we are the inspiration. Just look around you!

In Barbados, you come across Georgian townhouses built of coral limestone cut from ancient sea cliffs.
Caribbean design reassembles diverse indigenous, African and European elements to suit a tropical environment.

Lots of wood is used, plants, earthtones and natural elements such as bamboo, wicker furniture and hardwood flooring.

There are so many more styles to choose from if none of these tickled your fancy. So hit the World Wide Web or the bookstore and find out what your design style is.

Where's the party at?

by Mialisa Fenty

Where’s the party at this weekend? It could be at your house! Why? You choose the venue, the music, the food and who you want there. Minus the clean up, it could be the perfect night “out”.
But all house parties don’t have to be messy . . . not if it’s gonna be a book club party.
All jokes aside, you can have a great time with some good friends and you don’t even have to leave you house! Here are a few party ideas that might just tickle your fancy.

Have a wine tasting party. There is a lot to know about wine. Wine tasting is a favoured past time for many wine enthusiasts. You don’t even have to be sophisticated to be a wine taster. Also, it is easy to learn the basic about wine that will help you become a very good connoisseur. So grab a couple of gal or guy pals and a couple of bottles of wine and you already have yourself a party . . . especially since alcohol is involved. You can read up on wines or research it on the Internet and you’d be surprised at what you find. Did you know the different types of wine? That there is a particular way to taste them? That you pair wine with food? Well you can learn all of this and more.

Have a games night. This is probably one of the easiest parties to hold. Just call up a couple of friends and get them to bring whatever games they have stashed in their closets. Then all you have to do is set a date and provide a couple of finger foods and you’ll have a fun night. On the same note, it could be a specific game party like dominoes, poker or scrabble. Or if you’re a game tick like me, you could have a Wii, Nintendo, Xbox or PS3 party! But all guaranteed fun!

Have a dinner party. I suggest this type of party for two types of people: Those who like food or those who like to cook food. Because some one’s going to be doing a whole lot of cooking and/or eating. Hopefully you’re the one who likes the cooking because if you’re holding it at your house? It’s expected that you’re doing the cooking. You can also opt for every one to bring a dish of some thing, but that still does not get you out of cooking. A dinner party is very simple. All you have to do is plan a menu and call up, email or instant message the friends you plan to invite.

Movie night. Now this isn’t really a party. But where the twos and threes are gathered? Is company! This “party” is also very effortless. Checklist: movies, big tv and popcorn.

Birthday party. Now who could forget the infamous birthday party. This is the type of even that is held for all ages. It’s up to you to decide what the age limit would be for a birthday party at your house. The younger, the messier and the nosier. But birthday parties nice especially when it’s your birthday!

Theme parties. This is my favourite type of party! You could hold anything from a I Love MJ party to a Rubber Slippers fete! This is a normal party except there would be one common thread i.e. clothes, music or food. So, for example, you could have a Halloween party. Every one would come dressed up like a ghoul, witch or ghost; the Dj would play MJ’s Thriller for most of the night; and you would serve pumpkin fritters from the witch’s pot. Which reminds me . . .

Seasonal and holiday parties. Any excuse to dress up and hold a party with a theme. Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day Easter, Old Year’s night or Father’s Day are all days we can use to throw a party and invite some friends and family.

Hold a baby shower. Ofcourse to do this you’ll have to be a) pregnant or b) have a friend who is. But this is also a cool way to hang out at your house. Baby showers are major fun for women and they’re aren’t just for the females either. Men can tag along or even be the host of the event. Baby showers take more planning however. You need to have games, food, music and so on planned for the night. You can look online for some cute games like Putting The Diaper On or Naming the Baby. And ofcourse the gift section is always a fun section. This bring me on to our next party suggestion...

Bachelor/bachelorette party. Same planning applies except someone needs to be engaged at this party. Also, the games are less cute and more risque. The gifts should also follow that same thought process. Food is also a must but not as important as the alcohol. This is the night of reckless abandonment for the the engaged one. So, as the host, you would be under pressure to make this party a night to remember.

You probably realise by now that you can throw a party for almost anything you can think about! So next time you want to do some thing but don’t feel like leaving your home? Bring the party to you! And you don’t even have to change. Make it a pajama party!

The love (hum)bug: Men, women and their cars

By Mialisa Fenty

IT’S Not that women don’t love cars. Don’t get me wrong, we do, but in a different way than men. We see cars as an extension to the family: We name them (most likely guy names), clothe it (accessories), feed it (gas) and take it for it’s regular check up (car service).

The car puts in its share of work in our lives – taking us from Point A to Point B, with the kids or the groceries or to the beach or salon.

And most of the time, if you ask a woman what her first car was, she can always tell you. Chances are she kept it for years and cried when she had to sell it.

It is also very likely that she didn’t keep it “in pristine condition”. A wash, yes; but to go so far as to polish? I think not! The car also becomes an extension of the bedroom – it is always cluttered with odds and ends, body lotions, pillows, spare shoes, kids’ stuff, clutter of all kinds.

Men, on the other hand, see cars as machines and as much as a man loves his car, there are no tears when he sells or trades in. The new car will be his passion; he is no more likely to regret the passing of the old one than he would the dumping of an old girlfriend for a newer model. With his new car his youth is renewed; its increased performance endows him with vigour.

Women are generally neglectful of cars, and forget to put coolant in radiators, refill the washer reservoirs, replenish the oil or put air in tyres. But they don’t deliberately mistreat them.

You won’t hear women boasting about how they wrote off a car or blew up its engine.

The woman who drives a hundred miles with the handbrake on or the choke out, or leaves the lights on and kills the battery, or crushes a wheelrim against a curb, feels nothing but guilt and embarrassment.

Men who write off or blow up cars do so deliberately and bask in the glory of the deed, no matter how stupid and destructive it may be. Any motorist or (casual observer for that matter) who travels the Warrens area – particularly the service station knows what I’m talking about.

While us women look for cars that maybe “cute”, practical i.e. good trunk space, comfortable seating, nice safety features and so on; men look for power, speed and a mean-looking machine to make them complete.

“You must drive a 745 or a ML 450 4matic! Then you would understand!” laughs Cyprian Clarke. (I’m clueless).
Nicole Layne, a 26-year-old entrepreneur says women “don’t get the luxury to obsess over trivial possessions because we’re busy obsessing over our health, kids, work, home, family and keeping the world functioning. If we spent that time on cars, the world would fall apart!”

Love, as we know, does not preclude abuse. What love requires in the case of cars is that no one but the car’s owner gets to abuse it. The already intense relationship between a man and his car is cemented by shared transgression. As car-and-driver run the gauntlet of speed limits, they become partners in crime, bonded by their irrepressibility.

“To me they are more than just a mode of transportation. They can be works of art,” says graphic designer Jessell Sealy.

“I love driving them. Love listening to the loud roar or subtle growl of a nice engine or exhaust note. There is much to be appreciated in a car’s design too,” he says.

But not all men are obsessed with cars. “I use mine to get from Point A to Point B and that is it,” says Brook-Elliott Gill, “I know a lot of other fellas who operate the same way”.

Troy Harding opines that some men are only obsessed with their cars because of women.
“A man’s car reveals a lot about his personality and values, and may determine a woman’s attraction toward him,” agrees dating coach DeAnna Lorraine. “Women pay attention to more than just a man’s personal looks.”
According to Ms Lorraine, a man’s vehicle sends messages about his character that women immediately pick up on.

Here’s what she had to say about these male car lovers/drivers:
Suzuki Vitara lovers/drivers: These men like travel, adventure and spending time with friends and family. These vehicles attract women that are family-oriented, down-to-earth and easy-going.

BMW lovers/drivers: These men are classy, successful, stylish and “Sugar Daddies.”
These vehicles attract women that are in their late 30s and 40s, sophisticated, and enjoy being taken care of.

Ford F-150 lovers/drivers: These men tend to be insecure and overcompensate on a tough, macho level. These vehicles attract women that prefer to be protected by a man so they can feel safe.

Toyota Levin lovers/drivers: These men are conservative but are trying to satisfy a mid-life crisis by displaying their wild side through their car.
These vehicles attract women that are attracted to the bad-boy image, and are typically “hot,” bad girls themselves that are impulsive, wild and rebellious.

Toyota Corolla lovers/drivers: These men are solid, reliable and committed. These vehicles attract women that are sweet, level-headed, uncomplicated and undemanding.

Try Reading this first

by Mialisa Fenty

Why should we read books now? When I was a child I read books because I was curious; when I was a student I read books because it was compulsory, so why in my adult life, when I hardly have time, should I be reading a book?

Because books are just as important now in your adulthood as they were while you were growing up.
Why? There are tons of benefits to reading, no matter what age you are. It is a mental process so it helps you to keep your mind active and broadens your knowledge about life.

Reading also improves your vocabulary. Remember in primary school when you learned how to infer the meaning of one word by reading the context of the other words in the sentence? You get the same benefit from book reading. While reading books, especially challenging ones, you will find yourself exposed to many new words you wouldn’t be otherwise.

Another important benefit to reading is that it improves your memory. Many studies show if you don’t use your memory, you lose it. Crossword puzzles are an example of a word game that staves off Alzheimer’s. Reading, although not a game, helps you stretch your memory muscles in a similar way. Reading requires remembering details, facts and figures and in literature, plot lines, themes and characters.
Now that you understand some of the benefits of reading, it’s time to get back into it. This is easier said than done.

If you haven’t picked up a book since secondary school/university, I have some tips to help you to get back into the groove of things.

Choose books you like
First of all, we all of different interests and tastes. So why not choose books YOU want to read? Not every one is into the romantic Nora Roberts or the gory Stephen King. You might be into the British humour of Sophie Kinsella or the hard-hitting crime fiction that James Patterson offers. What ever you’re into, you can find a book about it. Trust me! If you are lost as to who writes the sort of genre you’re interested in, talk to friends, google “crime authors” online or take a trip to the bookstore or library. Most of the time the books are display in their respective category.

Also, because there are a couple of books that your friends have praised, maybe they have even won prizes, it doesn’t mean you have to read them.
Sure, there are some fantastic classics out there that might change your life – but not if you can’t get past page ten.

What really matters is that you pick books which you want to read. Not the books that “everyone” is talking about, not the books that’ll impress your friends. If you want to read the classics, read them for good reasons – not just because you’re embarrassed that you’ve never read them before.

Give yourself time to get into a book
Not all books grab you from page one. When you start reading, you might know nothing about the subject matter (if it’s non-fiction) and you won’t feel any particular attachment to the characters (if it’s fiction).

So give yourself time to get started. Don’t pick up a new book when you’ve only got five minutes to spare. It takes a while to get “into” a book, but once you’re engaged, you’ll find that it’s easy to keep reading.

Conversely, if you’re not enjoying a book after you’ve read 50 pages or so, then consider ditching it. There’s no rule that says you have to finish every book you start.

Keep a book nearby
Still reading? Good! It’s good to get into the habit of keeping a book near you. Any time you go out – particularly if you have an appointment or meeting – pop a book into your bag. If you end up waiting around for some reason, you’ll have something to do.

The same applies at home. Keep your book-in-progress on the table, or at the side of your bed – anywhere that you’re likely to see it and pick it up.

Try an Ebook Reader
Every one doesn’t like the smell of library books, the feel of pages or the way the clear text looks on printed paper.

So you can try getting an Ebook reader. A friend of mine never liked reading until he got the ibooks app on his iphone … now I can’t get him to stop!

Of course it’s different from a printed book, but it has a lot of advantages too – You can highlight passages without damaging the book and you can carry “lots” of books in a single device.