: Project Dreamworld :
Part of Survivors of the Silent Ages
[ JULY 11 ] Spend some time each day
awake with your eyes closed...
b o o k s i x
When we all had arrived against all of our wills and against all odds, the blank book was marked upon to the drone of the didgeridoo. Before its christening, it was already subject to the baptismal downpour that fell from the nearby heavens that afternoon. And all throughout the week the rain would return; adventurement would cease until only mud remained, worries washed away. Mother Nature was just neutralizing all the bonfires. Humbling them with her rolling mountain winds and rains. A man on the path that runs by our tent's front porch said that the power of nature will rinse away all the evil, and the true warriors of the rainbow will rise up from the mud puddles.
Zedka is talking of seeing me in dreams lately, vivid ones where we communicate. I apologize. My dream self does harbor some hostile emotions, which I think are best worked out in private.
My dream self attacked me once. I was awake and meditating and fell into a vision of a house in a field. A house is usually a symbol of the self in dreams, and I'm intuitively assuming that the field represented my mind. I scanned my vision over to the middle of the field where a girl was in hysterics crouching naked in the grass. Her face was covered with hatred; sharp teeth appeared as she let out sobs. I approached her and tried to see what might help but, like a wounded animal, she lashed out and tackled me to the grassy ground. A moment of recognition was shared between us and we hovered apart to opposite ends of the meadow. An intense aerial battle ensued, but we were too equally matched, like doppelgangers. I de-tranced to the cell phone across the room vibrating once.
My dream self attacked me once. I was awake and meditating and fell into a vision of a house in a field. A house is usually a symbol of the self in dreams, and I'm intuitively assuming that the field represented my mind. I scanned my vision over to the middle of the field where a girl was in hysterics crouching naked in the grass. Her face was covered with hatred; sharp teeth appeared as she let out sobs. I approached her and tried to see what might help but, like a wounded animal, she lashed out and tackled me to the grassy ground. A moment of recognition was shared between us and we hovered apart to opposite ends of the meadow. An intense aerial battle ensued, but we were too equally matched, like doppelgangers. I de-tranced to the cell phone across the room vibrating once.
Text message. ~
[ JULY 16 I THiNK ]
Monday morning came pouring in at around 7:57 AM when
I threw on some pants, brushed my teeth, and was out the door.
Since when do we have to pay and work to survive?
Answer: ever since we decided survival was not enough, that it
was too simple, too basic. that we were meant for better things,
bigger things. We have mastered our individual, physical survival,
longevity; let's THRIVE. Since we're not focusing on where
our next meal will come from or our safety from mountain lions
in our sleep, our bodies are merely vessels. It shows in our
culture, in how we utilize our bodies like tools.
[ JULY 19 ]
I exist to serve and enlighten
others, not to sell my ideas to a mega
corporation so they can exploit them
in their quest for cultural dominion.
Outside the giant grey box I work in,
smoking a cigarette leaning on a pillar,
I look out from under the awning
at the big, blue sky. Its beauty is
tarnished by the grinding racket
of Interstate 40 next door, smells
of asphalt and air pollution, grum-
bling trucks file out from the confines
of the barbed wire surrounding the
complex. Boy, inside, the air conditioning
sure feels swell, but this is NOT the
culture I wish to perpetuate.
On the side of a majestic Appalachian,
there is a dream. It has already been
planted; it has been sown. From a seed will
sprout eternal peace. Simplicity and
sunshine. A garden for us. Love for us,
that which never ends. A home built from
the land and a family by choice instead.
I create . . .
I don't care about having to dig deep
in the stony soil, or to sweat in the after-
noon heat atop a ladder building
a makeshift solar power array. It'd be
worth it just to pass a bowl around the
fire pit and watch the shadows dance on
the trees. To chase the dogs around the
meadow at sunrise, mist settling, dew
drops cutting loose from the blades of
bluegrass.
I got sent to the manager's office today.
He told me to stop doing handstands in the break room.
" We are going to understand how the brain works like we now understand how a computer works. At some point, we may realize that the stuff we hold onto as human beings--the idea of the self, the role of mortality, the meaning of existence--is fundamentally wrong. It may be that we learn so much that we lose part of our humanity because we know too much.
- Kenneth Hayworth
