If you've got a difficult child then be advised: you are not alone! Kids come with different types of temperament. Some will be sweet as angels (most of the time), while others can be hell-raisers (some of the time). This is no reflection on your qualities as a parent. It's just the way things are. Even two siblings can be at opposite ends of the scale. Parents might not get to choose their kids' emotional ranges, but there are ways to help them control their feelings and tempers. And professional help is available if you need it. This article looks at how to parent difficult children, how to give them the best start in life, and how the family can grow together and understand any underlying problems
We've all been there. Even children who are usually all sweetness-and-light have their occasional moments. Dealing with difficult children is particularly tricky in public, where we not only have to try to calm with the child, but also feel the burn of reproachful gazes from passers-by. But how do you ease the temper tantrum in the shopping mall; or the complete meltdown on the high street? Or even the regular bout of fury in private?
The first thing to know is that it will get better. Probably. Temper tantrums are completely normal. Almost all children have them in their early years, hence phrases like 'the terrible twos' and 'threenagers' (these are often seen as the most difficult ages for many children). They're usually triggered by the child not getting something that they want, and may be exacerbated by hunger or tiredness. Most children grow out of full-blown tantrums when they reach school age, and learn better ways to handle minor disappointments. But not always. Many kids have underlying conditions such as ADHD that can trigger problems with their temperament, and a bewildering number of other mental health issues can be at play.
Helping children regain emotional control can be hard, but there are many parenting techniques that can help. The most obvious, and perhaps most powerful, is to show regular emotional support, with plenty of hugs and reassurances that you love them to bits. If a child has a meltdown in the street, shouting back will not help one jot, but kneeling down to their level and giving a warm hug with soothing words might be all that's needed.
