Listen to this while reading this: Dragging a Dead Deer Up a Hill
A trash pile; not dissimilar to a lot of things I could point towards around here. (red deer)
Living in Red Deer is much like living in a party after everyone's gone to bed or is throwing up. This city is a liminal space, transitional as evidenced by the consumerist wasteland known as, "Gasoline Alley"
(red deer)
I asked some of my friends a set of the same questions, and they all gave very different answers.
Q: Do you think Red Deer is a nice place to live?
Ewan: I think Red Deer is a city with a lot of good things, but many more bad things.
Gabe: For the most part, yes. (it) has some issues with groups of people being very toxic, but overall good.
Maria: No i do not. Though the straight piped trucks racing outside my house are a nice 3 am alarm clock, and the 9 motnh winters are amazing, i wouldn't mind completely forgetting about red deer. / but i have not come across anything significant enough to thrive in this city.
Q: Are you satisfied with living here?
Ewan: Generally dissastisfied, so no.
Gabe: I was satisfied living there before becoming an adult, but since then have needed to have more opportunities. Friends were the biggest thing that made me happy there.
Maria: No, the only thing fulfilling about Red Deer is the downtown Vietnamese restaurant. There is little to do or strive for in a smaller city like Red Deer. If you had a solid group of friends and family that might improve your overall perspective.
I may be a little cynical about living here, but sometimes I feel that this picture can be a good visual metaphor upon my feelings of living in this city. (red deer)
nothing on anyone who does live here, that's your perogative and you've chosen this city, but I didn't get that luxury, and I'm homesick for somewhere I've never lived.
(edmonton)
Gabe moved to edmonton this summer to attend universty at the UofA
Q: You've now move out of Red Deer, and since then, have you noticed a change in the atmosphere?
A: Since leaving Red Deer the atmosphere has changed dramatically, being much more seemingly open to opportunity and social ideas, far less traditionalist and more open to social progress as well as communal progress.
the church being used for a cell tower,very obvious visual metaphor. (5g church, edmonton)
The illusion of a lush plant life, surrounded on all sides by desolate fields. (highway 2)
(penhold)
on this day, I spent an hour just walking on the train tracks. talking with some friends, because on a day like this, what else is there to do? Not much, in honesty.
Sometimes it's hard to focus on the most important task at hand, when the world around is so understimulating. The thought of anything significant going on here is like waiting for a miracle. The only time in recent memory we've been on national news is when a Black Lives Matter protest was met with violent resistance by reactionary right-wingers, and the RCMP had to come step in.
edmonton
Q: what is something you dislike about Red Deer?
A (ewan): i lislike the way many people put forth a general intolerance towards both left-leaning politics & more progressive notions of identity. There is a very traditionalist culture at play in this area of Canada, but its conservative in favour of a "good ol' days" that never existed even remotely. There was never a good ol day where gay people loved hearing your tone-deaf jokes, or middle-eastern immigrants found it soothing to hear themselves referred to as "those types of people"
Gabe: I dislike how conservative Red Deer is, in more than a political sense. It is very stuck in old ways and resists change or improvement.
ram falls
Me and my friend, Maria, feel the exact same about Red Deer. We both want to so badly escape, but we're bound to it. We periodically escape for a day or two, to a much needed breath of fresh air.
Q: Are your basical emotional needs met?
A: My basic emotional needs have been met by a close group of family and friends. However the overall community and majority of population in Red Deer does not. I've had about an equal amount of positive and negative experiences with the local community.
Crime? Crime! I think, anyways.
I should also answer some of my own questions.
Q: Do you think Red Deer is a nice place to live?
A: I think the geography of the city is really nice, pretty much the whole city looks beautiful (except for in the early spring) but beyond geography, there are a lot of unsavoury things about it, like the rampant homeless problems, the terrible traffic, the racism and homophobia (that affects me, so I notice it a lot more) etc. There are plenty of normal, well adjusted people here, and that's cool, however, I think that the bad apples spoil the bunch.
Q: Have you encountered any discrimination against your identity?
Ewan: I have been told I "sit like a girl" and that's about it, the odd "gay" & "jew" (of which I am neither.) I wish it was region-specific so I had something to blame, but it mostly comes down to the fact thaqt I'm not very masculine and sort of look Jewish. So they were more just astute observations.
Ewan: I have been told I "sit like a girl" and that's about it, the odd "gay" & "jew" (of which I am neither.) I wish it was region-specific so I had something to blame, but it mostly comes down to the fact thaqt I'm not very masculine and sort of look Jewish. So they were more just astute observations.
Gabe: Not against my identity itself, but my presumed identity based off of socially conservative assumptions of norms. I've also witnessed a lot of it on friends.
Maria: Yes, I have. There was a period of my life where I was visibly female but dressed more masculine and had a shaved head and as I would walk home from school I would often have insults, slurs, and the occasional piece of garbage or cans thrown out of cars at me. I have experienced homophobia and sexism on many occasions in Red Deer.
Blaze: Much like Maria, I have encountered direct discrimination in the past. I have been degraded for my orientation in the past, where the people discriminating against me saw no wrongdoing, and indeed found it as a "joke". We're all laughing real hard now. Oftentimes, I am afraid to go out of the house in fear of dressing "too gay" which has lead me to supress my identity and internalize homophobia for years and years, driving me from learning who I truly am for far too long, denying it's real and then feeling disgusted at myself for the "God hates ----" picket signs, the passive homophobic remarks from ex-friends, and the revelations, realizing that no matter how hard I try it, it won't go away, but Red Deer certainly doesn't feel like it's making a space for me, or the few-and-far-between queer friends I have. It's like trying to sit on a chair, but the seat is angled for you to slide off. Sure, it might not be directly kicking you off, if you try hard enough to stick, you might stick, but it's not intending for you to be comfortable or welcomed.
garage- no, basement band
Our band, Pallor Mortis, practices in the basement.
Who needs this much ketchup?
Some days, I convince myself that it's not that bad living here. And in reality, it can't be, but I just know in my heart that this is not where I am going to grow old. I need more in my life, there are more opportunities for my planned career elsewhere, there is more than 5 gay people in somewhere other than Red Deer. It is my final hurrah of passion, to have the opportunity to leave.
